


Feel Free To Flee

by Violsva



Category: Princess Bride - Simon Morgenstern, The Princess Bride - William Goldman
Genre: Background characters - Freeform, F/F, Gen, Hats, Implied Femslash, Letters, Missing Scene, More Hats, Packing, Royalty, Wrongful Dismissal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-07
Updated: 2014-03-07
Packaged: 2018-01-14 21:11:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1278973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violsva/pseuds/Violsva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Princess Noreena’s hasty departure from Florin: a tale of true friendship, domestic matters, nobility, servants, letters, poor working conditions, and many, many hats.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feel Free To Flee

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChokolatteJedi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/gifts).



> There are four packing and unpacking scenes in Chapter 3, and then Morgenstern left out the only one that would actually be _interesting_! So here’s an attempt to remedy that.
> 
> Getting the original can definitely be a pain; I recommend academic libraries. I don’t recommend sneaking into the University of Toronto stacks with your brother’s student card during exam period, but all art requires sacrifice. Also, check the online catalogue before you start – I had a very confusing conversation with the librarians at Ryerson.

The Princess Noreena of Guilder, Duchess of Shilling, Countess of Mark, and Lady of the Bath, had two Royal Ladies in Waiting solely for the care of her hats. This was lucky, and even more luckily she had taken both of them on her trip to Florin. For, of course, after the Event in the Great Hall one of them had to be dismissed.

That was how Calicy and Fianna referred to it later: the Event. Fianna had been the one who suggested that particular wide-brimmed blue-green lace-trimmed silk-velvet hat, and therefore Fianna was the one who shortly found herself out of a job, while Calicy received a temporary, unexpected, and definitely unwanted promotion.

Neither of them had been present in the Great Hall at the time. Instead, they were up in the Princess’s dressing room, lying on their shared cot and talking. During formal events they were never needed, but they had to have perfect knowledge of the Princess’s schedule, with allowances for last minute alterations, so that at every possible opportunity for a change of hat one would be available, with all its trimmings and accessories intact, for careful placement upon the Princess’s head.

This dinner, however, was expected to go on for hours, and once the Princess had come up from the cocktail portion of the affair and returned, newly hatted, downstairs, they had expected to have the evening off. They had taken advantage of this in a manner over which we will draw a discreet veil, not unlike the ones adorning much of the millinery around them.

They were interrupted partially by the faint shouts of “Fire!” from the Great Hall and the sounds of servants running along the hallway, but most of all by the bellow Prince Humperdinck let out before all that started. Though they couldn’t make out the words, it was loud enough to startle the pigeons off the lower towers (and the pigeons of Florin Castle were pretty tough birds). By the time the procession leading the Princess’s litter arrived they were both in her bedroom, waiting for a sign that they were needed.

They were informed of the Event by Michael, the first bodyguard, Eleanora, the handmaiden (so called because she was Princess Noreena’s hands; that is, she held the items that no princess would hold herself), and Rufus, the Florinese footman who had wrestled Francis, the second bodyguard, to the floor to prevent him from attacking Prince Humperdinck. These three servants were responsible for carrying the unconscious princess back to her rooms after the Event.

However, unconsciousness in princesses is a trait more often feigned than true, and the explanation the Royal Ladies in Waiting received as the princess was laid upon her bed and had her stays unlaced and her hands chafed and her hat replaced with a lace house bonnet was of necessity rather circumspect. The princess herself did not deign to give any explanation; she merely awoke, pointed at Fianna, and said, “ _Out_.”

Fianna, having rather more brains than your average princess, left.

*

Packing is far more difficult with only one person than with three. However, as Princess Noreena was still feeling faint from her ordeal, and Fianna had not been allowed to stay for another night, Calicy was left to do it herself.

The Princess had expressed the opinion, “Just throw everything into a bag, I want to leave this horrid country immediately.” However, Calicy, having like Fianna exactly the correct number of sandwiches for a picnic, knew better than to try to get away with that.

So she brought out the hatboxes and the hennin frames and the reams and reams of tissue paper, and began to pack.

The firm hats, the straw and leather and buckram ones that had no extra ornaments or veils, were quickly placed in their boxes, with a little tissue paper to hold them in place, and then stacked to one side. This was, however, less than ten percent of the collection.

From them she moved onto the veils, made of lace and gauze and heavy velvet for covering the back of the neck in winter. The ones that could be detached from their hats were carefully removed and folded or wrapped around the more delicate structures. The butterfly frames were placed in their specially designed racks so they would hold their shape. The gold and jewel trimmings were carefully removed, wrapped in tissue paper, and placed in their lockbox.

The hats with fruit and flower and feather and sailing ship ornaments were set aside, and then the ornaments were carefully wrapped in tissue paper and the hats were individually placed in hatboxes lined with satin and filled with more tissue paper.

After that, the sleeping hats and nightcaps and mobcaps and lace bonnets and coifs and soft hats designed to be worn under other, heavier hats were folded, with tissue paper in the folds to prevent creases, and packed in a suitcase – actually, two suitcases – with layers of still more tissue paper between them.

Calicy looked out the window and discovered that it was dawn. She slumped for a minute, then made her way to the cot in the dressing room. Just as she reached it there was a tap on the door.

Calicy turned and stared, and then hesitantly approached the door. It was the second door, the one that led to the hall rather than to the Princess’s bedroom, and it occurred to her that she wasn’t sure if she had a key to it. But she twisted the handle and it agreeably turned and she glanced out to see a Florinese footman (the palace had hundreds of footmen; you couldn’t take two steps without tripping over one, except that they were too well trained to be tripped over) smiling sympathetically at her.

He handed her a letter, nodded, and closed the door for her. Calicy stared at it, then leaned against the wall and unfolded it, because she didn’t know anyone in Florin so it could only be from one person.

It was from Fianna.

_Dear Calicy,_ it said,

_Write to me at Morwenna’s alehouse. She says she has been here for fifty years and she plans on staying for another fifty, so it should reach me through her, and no one here can read. She doesn’t have any ladylike work for me but she also doesn’t have any hats, so scrubbing plates doesn’t seem like such a hardship. It will be a nice break until I can find a milliner’s to work in._

_Please do write. I remain,_

_Yours,  
Fianna_

Calicy folded the letter carefully back in its envelope, placed it in her single personal travelling bag, and fell fully dressed onto her cot. She was asleep before she hit it.

Two hours later she was awoken by a scandalized maid, shocked that she had been sleeping in so late. As she was already dressed, however, she managed to be more or less in order in time for the Princess Noreena to arrive and change hats.

We can now take advantage of the reader’s expanded knowledge to clarify a point. It is extremely difficult to affix a hat on a head bereft of hair. The standard methods of holding on headgear are of course small combs (impossible for obvious reasons), and hatpins (moderately effective but with noticeable drawbacks). These being ruled out, the Princess Noreena relied on ribbons and ties for hats to be worn outdoors. For hats to be worn indoors, unfortunately, she depended solely on a very tight fit, with results as we have seen. She had been known to express unfavourable opinions on the appearance of ribbon ties indoors. It could be said, therefore, that Fianna’s share of blame in the Event was smaller than the Princess was willing to grant her.

Calicy had reserved for the morning a hat that tied neatly under the Princess’s left ear. The Princess Noreena accepted without a word.

The boxes and suitcases and bags and crates were quickly loaded upon the Guilderian ships. Quickly is a relative term; the Florinese royalty had forbidden any of their own servants from helping. The Princess Noreena and her noble escort, upon learning of this, had stated that they would never have even dreamed of asking for such assistance. The Florinese asked if they were impugning the hospitality they had received in Florin Castle. The delegation from Guilder replied that they were not, of course not, the service they had received was certainly adequate, under the circumstances, Florin being after all new to the waters of international diplomacy. Their hosts took some time to reply to this volley, and the nobility of Guilder used the pause to take their leave, citing a need to finish packing.

So they were short-handed when reloading the ship, and all the servants from Guilder including Calicy were called to help out. Calicy then provided a new hat for the Princess’s progression to the ship, and a third hat for the voyage, and then a fourth hat for luncheon, and a fifth in which to spend the afternoon on the deck looking out at the waves. Her focus may have been a little compromised, but Princess Noreena was fuming too hard to worry much about her maid’s taste.

Calicy spent her mid-afternoon break napping in the Princess’s dressing cabin, hoping that they would hire a new Lady in Waiting quickly. But once they did, she thought, she would have no more work than she had had before, and she would be able to look forward to corresponding with Fianna.

And she did, for a few years. However, that was before she met the new Lady in Waiting, and the Princess Noreena’s eyebrows began to thin, and Fianna’s new employer took up all her spare time, and then, of course, the kidnapping and the rise of tensions and severing of all communication between Florin and Guilder...


End file.
